They took my cheese

When I went to pick up my groceries from WalMart, they said they took away my cheese. The girl came to my car window and actually said that. “We had to take away your cheese because it was recalled.” I said, “Aw! You took my cheese?” The girl nodded. “The Kraft singles were recalled.” I

I’m just not on top of things these days

I just took my kids for an annual check up that resulted in a spate of referrals. (Nothing terrible; no one is dying.) This mean I have to spend a bunch of time making annoying phone calls. UGH. Yes, I know that’s a first world problem. Still I really hate making phone calls. Also, I’m

Another Bird Problem

I came out of church a little late one Sunday. Almost everyone had gone home. The parking lot was deserted except for a little cluster of cars with people outside them standing over to the side. All the people were gathered around looking at something intently. I went over to see what was going on,

It’s hard being a grown-up

I saw this article in a magazine: Is it pathetic that I read it VERY carefully? I need to make friends! It’s hard to do as an adult. As a little kid, you can just walk up to someone approximately your size and say, “Hi! Want to be friends?” and that’s perfectly fine. As a

Bird in Da House

Just before midnight Saturday, I heard my kids yelling that something was flying around the living room. I figured it was just a bug, as usual, (“Just SQUISH it yourSELF!” I’m always yelling back; See my post on ineffective extermination methods.) but they were screaming a lot. “It’s BIG!” “It’s a BAT!” So I went

I have a lot of photographs

Person coming to my house for the first time: Wow. That’s a lot of photo albums! Me: Yes I’m quite the archivist! I’ve got the last 25-30 years here you can look at. Person: In real time!

Ineffective extermination methods

A Partial List of All the Wrong Ways To Kill Bugs: Deflection: Kid: “Mom!! Mom!! Mom!! There’s a bug; there’s a bug; THERE’S A BUG !!!(pause) Wait. It got away….” Defenestration: Him: “I scooped up this bug in a paper cup and put him outside.” Demoralization: Me, to a bug in the house: “Everyone hates

Trapped on the Bus

So yesterday was the first day of school. The twins are starting high school this year, and –having experienced the car line at the high school before– I have declared that they are going to be riding the bus. (The high school campus houses a middle school also, and the traffic jams during pick-up and

Read the Room, BHG

I was pretty surprised to receive this magazine in the mail. Yes, I still get magazines in the mail. Seriously, I get physical paper copies of magazines sent through the US postal service. I know. I’m a dinosaur.  But as a dinosaur, –a dying breed, a throwback, whatever you want to call it– I know

My Car is SO Proud of Itself

Here’s what my car had to say for itself after trapping my friend inside with all the doors locked and the alarm blaring in a residential neighborhood after nine pm: No, Miss Chevrolet, you did not avert an attempted theft. You just bothered everyone with your horrible loud noises for no reason.