It’s quite a talent, but Little Girl actually managed to use her homework to insult her siblings. <<< Here she is snickering to herself about it. The teacher wanted her to write and draw pictures about the beginning, middle, and end of her day. Since her day includes lots of siblings, she saw an opportunity.Continue reading “How to liven up homework time”
Little Girl is terrified of Chuck E. Cheese. (Not that I blame her. That giant mouse is creepy.) This phobia was not alleviated in any way by the last party we attended at the Chuck E. Establishment. I think there was a sadistic individual inside the Chuck E. Costume that day. Call me crazy, butContinue reading “Chuck E Cheese”
That’s my boy!
I went out to lunch with a friend recently. Unfortunately, the twins were out of school, so I had to drag them along. My friend was very gracious about this, and refrained from comment as Little Girl jumped all over the seat, exposed her underwear to a neighboring table, and wondered aloud why her gourmetContinue reading “Why you don’t want to take me out to lunch”
I found this lovely message written in my driveway the other day. My question is, which of these kids is ACTUALLY stinky poop? And does decorating the insult with a heart make calling someone “stinky poop” more palatable?
I saw this sign at the military hospital. I want a vest like this. It seems like the perfect idea for a mom. Just tell the kids, When I’m wearing the vest, YOU CAN’T BOTHER ME.
Little Boy likes to play a hiding game. One night he built a pillow barricade all around his bed and hid under the bed. What he didn’t realize is that he had company under there. A little background: Our cat is not what you’d call a “kid-friendly” animal. Like many cats, he barely tolerates the larger humansContinue reading “Inside the Barricade”
I think I’m funny. People say I’m funny. But my kids? Not so much. Actual conversation between me and Little Girl: LG: Daddy’s so funny. Me: Yeah he is. LG: You’re not funny though. Me: I’m not? LG: Nope. Me: oh…kay… LG: (consolingly) It’s all right. You’re just a Mommy. And… There you go.
The twins went on their first kindergarten field trip this week. I didn’t want to go. I know, I know. BAD mommy. Little Boy has already been giving me the guilt trip about how the neighbor kids’ mom works at the school and is there ALL DAY. “Why can’t you be at the school allContinue reading “Guilt Assuaged”
Little Girl, my five-year-old, was eating a soft taco from Taco Bell in front of the TV. (No one can say I don’t feed my kids the best around here!) While I wasn’t looking, she started picking off the shredded lettuce and tossing it, piece by piece, on the living room floor. It’s like sheContinue reading “As if I weren’t already crazy”