I was preheating the oven in the new house for the first time. When I opened it, I noticed something sort of puddled in the bottom.
Was it water? I took a paper napkin and dabbed at the spot.
Yes, that’s right. I used a paper napkin in a four hundred degree oven.
I never said I was the smartest girl on earth.
Well, the napkin caught fire. Unsurprisingly, I suppose.
I threw it into the nearby sink, where it continued to burn until I had completely doused it with the faucet.
At what point do they take away your license to be an adult? I may get there soon.