I was walking into the convenience store here on post for a couple of things and I saw a centipede on the ground in the parking lot.
I’ve mentioned the centipedes in Hawaii before. They are PURE EVIL. I hate them.
These bugs lie there looking completely disgusting with their nasty little millions of legs waiting to bite unsuspecting passersby and send the poor humans screaming to the emergency room with a welt the size of a basketball.
So I could not allow this abomination to live. Obviously.
I took off my flip flop and proceeded to beat that thing to death with as much force as I could, pounding it over and over and muttering, “Die, die, die, DIE, DIE!!!!!”
When it finally stooped moving and appeared to have been nearly severed in half, I stop beating it, caught my breath, and looked up.
A young soldier in uniform was standing a little distance away, staring at me in horror. You could just see him thinking, “Girl, you are CRAZY!”
I straightened up with as much dignity as I could muster and walked into the store.
When I came back out with my small purchases I looked for the carcass, just to make sure the horrid arthropod was dead. (If you live in Hawaii, you know this already, but those centipedes can be notoriously hard to kill. Further proof that they are the spawn of Satan.)
I muttered as I searched the ground, “Where are you: where are you? Aha! There! You’re dead! Good!” I said triumphantly as I kicked the desiccated corpse and observed no further movement.
I looked up to find another unfortunate young man walking past, giving me a wide berth and avoiding eye contact.
I’m scaring them all today…